I reek of nostalgia. I must because for the past few weeks I have been saturated with its fragrance. It’s amazing to ponder. I have marinated in the complexity, reminiscing memories, thoughts, and dreams where my life originated, the roots of my soul began to dig deep. There has been an aura that exudes. A sweet aroma promoting peace that overwhelms.
I finished a week of speaking at a camp near Lake Tahoe. In between this and the next camp, I stayed a night in Vacaville, CA; a city about 25 minutes from my hometown. And talking to the citizens, listening to names of localities that I had not heard in years, I stepped back in time. I can still hear the screams of my neighborhood at play. I visualize riding our bikes on dirt trails flapping dust to the wind. I feel the murky waters of the creek used as a swimming hole, relishing that thought of an oasis we had once created exclusively for ourselves. These, as well as others, are a milieu of endeavors that have been firmly planted, sowing that whimsical innocence that I know as my youth.
As I revisited my homestead, I discovered the obvious truth that it does not diminish the distinct recollections of people, places, and problems. Rather, such truth comes back with an intensity that illustrates life in motion. Combine all of my adventures, these experiences together, and they convey the aesthetics of my childhood – a backdrop that has consequently shaped personality and formed aspirations. These are my roots dug deep into a soil resulting in the harvest of what I know as today.
I am grateful. I reflect upon my life; what once was; what could have been; and expectant of what will be. Unbeknownst to any effort on my own, I am starting to comprehend the remnants as to why things transpired in the manner in which they did. Of course, I don’t understand it completely, but it necessitates awe at His providence. It has come full circle. I have certainly undergone seasons of drought, have withered in stamina, but I have also witnessed growth and a flourishing that has prompted freedom.
Where do I go from here? Is God moving me onward, say, perhaps using my current profession as a stepping stone into something greater? Should I call it a day in full-time speaking, celebrating the run, its journey, and everything it entailed for the purpose it was intended? I have been hanging on to considering this kind of transition for well over a year.
I will keep on waiting. I’m in no rush. I believe that whatever this nudging may be it is coming to fruition. One day I will look back on this specific point in time as a catalyst used to nourish and strengthen roots that already lie deep into the framework of God’s purposeful design. I will continue to sit back. I will enjoy the ride. I smell the rain!